Statistically, a woman is more likely to be hurt by a man than she is to ever be eaten by a shark, hit by a car, be attacked by a bear, crash in a plane, or be bitten by a spider. When a woman expresses fear of any of these events, she is still seen as a rational person. When I tell people that I am afraid of swimming in the ocean because I’m afraid of sharks, they accept it almost without question. But, when I tell people that I’m afraid of men, that men scare me more than sharks and spiders and freak plane accidents all combined, I immediately lose their respect. I am considered elitist. I am considered sub-human.
Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.
You wrecked me and
And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.
A woman from the audience asks: ‘Why were there so few women among the Beat writers?’ and [Gregory] Corso, suddenly utterly serious, leans forward and says: “There were women, they were there, I knew them, their families put them in institutions, they were given electric shock. In the ’50s if you were male you could be a rebel, but if you were female your families had you locked up.